One of the fun parts of moving into a new culture is learning about their traditions and customs. I got thrown right into learning about wedding traditions and customs just 10 days after arriving. In the span of four days, I attended two wedding send-offs and a wedding with a reception. Let me tell you, it was quite the crash course.
It is customary for the bride to have a send-off party two or three days before the wedding ceremony. This is the time when the bride's parents send her off to join the groom's family. This send-off is just as big of a deal as the wedding day. Basically, the send-off is the bride's celebration and the wedding and reception day is organized by the groom's side.
The first event I attended was the send-off for Peggy's childcare assistant. Our whole team attended, as well as many other employees from our village. It was neat to see how close-knit our staff is here. They are like a family. It was quite beautiful and decorations were top notch!
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| This is only half of the tent, so you can see it is no small party |
The send-off party consists of grand entries by the bridal party, the bride's family, and the bride. The groom actually isn't brought into all the celebrating until later in the party. At a certain point probably about half way through the night, the bride goes looking for him. When she finds him, then he is brought up to sit with her on the stage.
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| The bride-to-be in her beautiful peach dress |
There is dancing - some traditional and some choreographed to contemporary music. Then there were a lot of formalities, like introductions and toasts and passing out of various cakes. It was all in Swahi!i, so I didn't have a clue what was going on half the time, but it was still great. They also served us some snacks of goat soup, popcorn, peanuts, samosas, and cooked bananas.
One of the biggest events of the night is when the tribal "Cake" is brought out. It is wheeled out to lots of music and dancing and celebrating!
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Yep, the "cake" is a whole roasted goat decorated with carrots and cucumbers |
This is a tradition for the particular tribe that the bride and groom are both part of. The goat is diced up right there, and the pieces are passed around for everyone to enjoy. The bride and groom feed each other the first bites, like we would typically see at a wedding reception with cake.
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| Getting our pieces of the "cake" |
I did eat goat...several pieces actually. What I learned is to pick your piece strategically. Some pieces are better than others :)
After more events on the send-off program, then comes the buffet meal that is served to everyone. I just have to note that the party was scheduled to start at 6 pm. We probably actually entered the tent around 7 pm. And I'm pretty sure the meal was served at about 9:30 pm. This is no short party, and I was thankful for the snacks earlier on in the party.
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I learned that what I thought was just a tomato sauce I could throw on my rice was actually a very, very spicy pepper sauce. Every experience is a learning opportunity. |
This was all on a Wednesday night, which meant we all had work the next day. So when the party was still rolling along at 11 pm, our crew decided we needed to exit the party at an opportune time. It was a lot of fun, and I quickly learned that these people know how to throw a party!
Having hardly recovered from the late night of festivities the night before, I was told on Thursday that Peggy and I had been selected to serve as representatives at another send-off that night. This one was supposed to be a "smaller one" up a little ways on the mountain side. Boy was I misinformed!!! This had to have been one of the biggest parties of the year! Not even exaggerating, we estimated that there were 800-1,000 people there. And all of those people had come up a rough, narrow, mud road. It was mind-blowing to me! Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of pictures to show the magnitude of this send-off because it was in the bridal family's yard with people spread out under many, many tents. This was also the week of the non-stop rain, so we were just trying to stay dry.
This send-off still had a lot of the same events in the program, so I had a little bit better idea of what to expect.
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| We were very thankful for the tents to shield us from the rain |
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This serves as an indicator of the size of this send-off. There was not one, but FOUR "cakes" |
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These guys must train to become the "cake" cutters for parties. They get it diced up and passed out to the guests so quickly! |
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| We had a pretty prime location for the "cake" cutting |
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The party was so big that there were even TV screens to show the bride so that everyone could see what was going on regardless of where they were seated. |
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| Wheeling the "cakes" around |
Being very wise, Peggy decided that we needed to leave before it started getting dark. So we actually left right after the "cake" was served, before the buffet and gift giving fun. That was the best decision! I can only imagine what chaos it must have been when it was time for all of those people to leave and make it back down that road.
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Walking carefully to our strategically parked car that allowed us an early exit. |
Saturday was the wedding day for Peggy's assistant. Not wanting to miss an opportunity to get introduced even more to the culture, I agreed to go. The ceremony was all in Swahi!i, but it was beautiful and I enjoyed hearing hymns sung in the heart language. Two of our kids got to serve as the flower girl and ring bearer. They kind of stole the show in my opinion ;)
The wedding party rides in a nicely decorated vehicle so that everyone on the road knows that it is a wedding procession.
And if that's not enough of a signal to everyone, it's all proceeded by this DJ truck blasting party music.
After the wedding ceremony, everyone goes to another location for pictures. We opted not to be part of that fun because we knew it was going to be a long day with the reception following. I heard that where they went is a very popular wedding picture location and there are even camels there for the bride and groom to sit on and take pictures. Maybe I'll make it out there another day.
After picture taking, everyone then goes to another location for the reception. Another display that these people know how to throw a big party. There were a lot of similarities to the send off, but this time more of the events were geared towards the groom's family. There were still quite a few of our staff family members there. It was lively with music, dancing, more "cake", and a buffet.
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| I really liked the ambiance of all the lights |
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| The "cake"!!! |
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| Their first pieces of "cake" as husband and wife |
We had given a ride to several of our village mamas that work closely with the bride, so we committed to staying through at least the buffet dinner. Little did we know that the dinner would be served at 11:15 pm :) But we wouldn't have traded it at all for the hours of sleep we missed that night. It was a wonderful celebration. It just goes to show that the culture here values time together. It is very relational and keeping things timely is of less importance. I think we could all benefit from learning to be a little bit more like that. I know I certainly could.
I am so thankful that I was invited to all of these events so early on. Experiencing customs and traditions gives a deeper understanding of the culture and the people. And an added bonus to all of these festivities was that I picked up more of the language along the way. I now have a pretty good party/wedding/celebration vocabulary. Everything is an opportunity to learn!